Sometimes the thing that is holding you back is all in your head

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I am happy. But I could be sad if I wanted to. Because it’s all in my head and I am able to control it. Because I have found out happiness depends on how we think and not on what we have around us. It is how we view things.

I used to be very unhappy, whether I had a good job or not, whether my friends were around or not, or whether I was single or in a couple. Now, that I am happy and detached from the past I know what made me unhappy and what makes some of my friends remain in a state of sadness. It is the fact that I thought that I can’t change anything and no matter what I do the world will not change, that having money is what matters, that people do not appreciate you no matter how good you are, that being nice to people means them taking advantage and that you cannot trust anyone, because sooner or later they will stab you in the back in some way or another. Obviously, this way of thinking came from past experiences.

But the issue was that I was seeing and remembering only the negative experiences, I was living in them and I guess I was somehow enjoying misery. It did not help that people around me thought the same way.

Then some day something clicked and I decided to think the opposite way. Yes, kind of like that episode of Seinfeld when George starts to do the opposite to see if things can be different for him. However for me it did not end in disaster.

Things did start to change just because I was thinking different.

For example

Had a job I hated. Normally a sad person would stick with that job and complain about it. But I decided to go another way. Of course, I did have people telling me I should stick to it, because it’s a safe job, even I told them I hated it. I had to stay strong and go against the flow and against the ” advice” given by close people. The job market sucks these days and it’s not ideal to just leave your job and wait for something good to come along. So what I did was I saved some money and while having that job, I was looking for another one. I like to take risks but I am also realistic.

Had a relationship that was failing big time. I guess it should have been a clue the fact that there were fights every day and we hated each other in the end. It’s hard to end a long relationship because you just got used to that person and you can’t imagine life without them. Some people around me told me that it’s normal to fight, that’s what couples do. Yes, it’s normal to fight once in a while but not every day and not saying hurtful things and never apologising and never discussing and never communicating.  So I thought- is it OK to hurt every day like this or is it better to be alone? So I ended it. Best decision ever.

Had few people around me that were bringing me down. Thankfully not the close ones but people that I went for drinks with. You might know those type of people. You tell them you have a problem, let’s say a job you hate and they tell you” you should stay, it’s safe money” and not encouraging you if they see you are excited about doing something else. Or those type of people that you listen to their issues, but it’s like you are their psychologist and they never seem to listen to you, but they use you like a psychological sponge that absorbs their negativity. Or that type of people that when you tell them one issue they jump to say their issue is bigger. Like, if you say ” I think I am going to end my relationship. It’s going nowhere.” , they would say something like ” Oh, well…you know I bought a new dress and I realised at home it was too small! Such an annoyance. I had to go back and change it”…ignoring what you said like it’s not important. So, I slowly stepped away from this type of people.

I realised that it’s all in my head. Yes, I could have a better job. It’s hard to get a better job? Yes, I agree you can’t change over night and become from painter an architect. But you can make changes towards that goal. Take a class, read some books, put money aside for the future.

Yes, I could have better relationships. Because there are a lot of good people out there and you just need to find them. I found plenty of them. I kept my eyes open and I saw people that were doing volunteering, that were interested in my hobbies and my passions. Those people will bring happiness because they care about things you care. It’s easy. By volunteering for causes you care, you meet people like you. By going to groups that share your passion (photography,cooking,etc) you meet people like you.

And yes, there is plenty of love for everyone. I believe many people are unhappy because they believe the stuff they say in Hollywood movies- there’s one love and one chance at love, otherwise you’ll be alone for the rest of your life. So, go, run to the airport/trainstation and stop that person from leaving you! I think this message makes people stay in abusive relationships. Because they think that’s it. One chance at love and there is nothing after that if they lose it. Well, here’s the good news. There’s plenty of people and chances at love. There are great people out there that will appreciate your personality, your flaws, your body, your way of being. Life does not finish at 27-30-40 or whatever society tells you. You can find love no matter the age and no matter your status, whether divorced, with children or just plain single.

Recently I have read an article on happiness and it stated happiness comes not from suddnely earning a big sum of money or if a huge happy event happens in your life. Real happiness come from every day little things that we enjoy.  What I enjoy every day? I like to have my tea in the morning and go in the garden to feel the fresh air. I like to smile at people on the street. I like to pet my neighbour’s Labrador puppy and talk to my other neighbour about the weather. I feel great every time I wear a dress because I just love dresses! I love to listen to jazz and watch a Friends episode once in a while. I love to send cards for my friends’ birthdays. I love to take my camera and just explore the city’s streets and street performers ( there are a lot of them in the area!) I love to draw ( even I am still shy with showing it to people).

These small things make me happy every day. Not insanely happy like jumping around like crazy. But content with my self.

 

Alternative dogs festival, a stray dog festival meant to encourage adoption of stray dogs

This weekend an alternative dogs festival was organised in Vlaha Village, Romania. The festival was organised by several NGO’s with the purpose of encouraging people to adopt alternative dogs, which means dogs with disabilities or just stray dogs without owners.

Around 55 dogs paraded in a competition that meant to show their qualities and impress the audience. The organisers stated that dogs are usually left without owners due to the fact that they are either abandoned on the streets of the city or in villages or they run away due to car accidents.

Here are some pictures from the event

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How to make yourself feel better? There are many ways!

Sometimes we are so sad we don’t know what to do feel better. Sometimes time heals wounds but sometimes there is stuff you can do to make yourself feel better.

Each person is different and obviously different things will make them feel better but there are some things that work for most people. For example if you feel lonely, write an e-mail, letter or whatever to a friend. If you feel useless and don’t feel like you have a purpose in life volunteering really helps. If you feel isolated it’s a good idea to adopt a cat, a dog or a hamster or go to a animal center and volunteer there.

There is also a website for people that are lonely but want to meet other people just for socializing, like meetup.com, here normal everyday people organise socializing meetings, some have special themes like photography or theatre lovers, walking, cycling or international people and some are just for socializing and going for a drink.

I think it’s also always a good idea to try new hobbies, visit new places, go to workshops, expositions, festivals and events.

Youtube personality Anna Akana also has some funny and interesting tips.

Video shows how homeless people are more giving than non-homeless people

 

This social experiment has tested normal everyday people and homeless people’s generosity. The experiment tested if people gave food from their own if someone really hungry asked for it. Filmed undercover the video shows how most people wouldn’t even share a bit of their food to someone hungry.

How about homeless people? A few homeless people were given some food or money and then somebody else came to ask for food and money to see if they would give anything away and that’s what they did. They shared what they had, probably the only food they would have that day, with a stranger.

 

Supermarket campaigns for ugly fruits and vegetables to stop being ignored

People throw 300 million of fruits and vegetables a year and the main reason is that we don’t choose a fruit or vegetable that does not fit the norm. 2014 was declared by the European Union the European Year against Food Waste. So, Intermarche came up with the idea of a campaign called Inglorious Fruits and Vegetables, a campaign that encourages consumers to celebrate the Grotesque Apple, the Ridiculous Potato, the Hideous Orange, the Failed Lemon, the Disfigure Elephant and the Ugly Carrot.

Intermarche, a French supermarket has put a special stand with these type of fruits to test the consumers and sold them with 30% cheaper than good looking fruits. The project was such a big success that they sold out!

 

Australian man has saved lives for 50 years

 

don ritchie0_10153037389348206_1228631352_nDon Ritchie was a man like no other. He was literally saving lives. Living next to the Gap, in Sydney Australia Ritchie has rescued over 160 people from killing themselves, although his family claims that it was around 400 people.

The Gap, Australia is well known as a suicide spot. For almost 50 years, Don was approaching people that he saw were contemplating suicide. He would go and ask them with a smile on his face “Is there something I could do to help you?” According to his daughter, most people would turn around and that was all that they needed to change their minds.

Don Ritchie started to help people from the moment he moved into his new house, which is just 50 metres from the edge of the Gap. His daughter says that after rescuing people he used to bring them back to the house for tea or breakfast. According to smh.com the Natioanl Asutralia Day Council has stated “In a situation where most would turn a blind eye, Don has taken action … With such simple actions Don has saved an extraordinary number of lives”.

The first zero waste supermarket is here!

 

The first zero waste supermarket is here and it’s in Germany, Berlin. Sarah Wolf and Milena Glimbowski decided to open this supemarket after seeing all the waste that went into packaging products. So, they launched a crowfunding campaign in May and managed to get the funds.

But what exactly is a zero waste supermarket? Well it is quite simple. All food is sold in bulk and customers have to bring their own packaging or containers. The founders said ” When out shopping we find a lot of super colourful items with super colourful packaging. What we tend to forget is that those packagings are only waste at the end of the day. We each produce 250 kilograms of waste every year. We believe there is another way. We believe we can change this.”

The supermarket will try to sell also locally organic sourced foods. But what can you find in a supermarket that has no packaging? Well according to the owners, you can get pasta, cereals, cheese, and whey in cellophane-free containers, jars and glass bottles, unwrapped fruits and vegetables.

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